These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Question : What is your date of birth?
Answer : July 15th.
Question : What year?
Answer : Every year.
Question : Were you present when your picture was taken?
Question : The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Question : How was your first marriage terminated?
Answer : By death.
Question : And by whose death was it terminated?
Question : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Answer : No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Question : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Answer : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Question : What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Answer : He said, "Where am I Cathy?"
Question : And why did that upset you?
Answer : My name is Susan.
Question : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Answer : Yes.
Question : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Answer : I forget.
Question : You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Question : All your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Answer : Oral.
Question : She had three children, right?
Answer : Yes.
Question : How many were boys?
Answer : None.
Question : Were there any girls?
Question : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Answer : Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Question : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Answer : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Question : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Answer : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Question : And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
Answer : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Question : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Answer : No.
Question : Did you check for blood pressure?
Answer : No.
Question : Did you check for breathing?
Answer : No.
Question : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Answer : No.
Question : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Answer : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Question : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Answer : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
These are just a few and if by chance you are a lawyer, think before you ask your next question - Grin : )
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
True Friends – Why are they rare?
Thoughts fly through my mind and I wonder sometimes why it is that true friends are hard to find. Have you every wondered that?
Well as I thought about this question there was some things that came to mind. One of those was; “what is a true friend?” and “what would a true friend look like?”
A true friend would have your best interest at heart and would be a person who could hold you accountable for your actions. What! Accountability? That hurts! I am accountable to NO one! Isn’t that true?
As my teenage daughter would say; “NOT!” Ultimately I am accountable and I will give an account one day. But for today, a true friend is one who knows your weaknesses and holds you accountable about what you are doing in regards to those weaknesses.
That is why true friends are hard to find. We personally do not want to be accountable to someone who has our best interest at heart because we want those around us to think that we have it all together and that we have no weaknesses.
People, people, people, we don’t have a monopoly on making all the right decisions. We all make poor decisions and the outcomes they produce many times reveal our shortcomings and our weaknesses. A true friend would be one who knows us and about the time we are going to make decisions would call us into account and correct us so that those outcomes, which are mostly bad, do not come about but they help re-think and with re-thinking, decisions are modified and the outcomes more enjoyable.
That is why I think they are few; it is because we do want to reveal our weaknesses or faults to others. A true friend loves the person even if we are frogs in disguise and will hold us accountable and ask the hard questions we do not want to hear.
Oh to have a friend that will only praise! But then I ask; what value is that to me? I need someone who is free to point out my warts as well as my beauty. I need someone to not only to praise the “beauty” but also to hold the “beast” accountable.
Remember what you think, influences your decisions and those decisions determine the outcomes. A friend will call into question your thinking…before they become bad decisions.
Well as I thought about this question there was some things that came to mind. One of those was; “what is a true friend?” and “what would a true friend look like?”
A true friend would have your best interest at heart and would be a person who could hold you accountable for your actions. What! Accountability? That hurts! I am accountable to NO one! Isn’t that true?
As my teenage daughter would say; “NOT!” Ultimately I am accountable and I will give an account one day. But for today, a true friend is one who knows your weaknesses and holds you accountable about what you are doing in regards to those weaknesses.
That is why true friends are hard to find. We personally do not want to be accountable to someone who has our best interest at heart because we want those around us to think that we have it all together and that we have no weaknesses.
People, people, people, we don’t have a monopoly on making all the right decisions. We all make poor decisions and the outcomes they produce many times reveal our shortcomings and our weaknesses. A true friend would be one who knows us and about the time we are going to make decisions would call us into account and correct us so that those outcomes, which are mostly bad, do not come about but they help re-think and with re-thinking, decisions are modified and the outcomes more enjoyable.
That is why I think they are few; it is because we do want to reveal our weaknesses or faults to others. A true friend loves the person even if we are frogs in disguise and will hold us accountable and ask the hard questions we do not want to hear.
Oh to have a friend that will only praise! But then I ask; what value is that to me? I need someone who is free to point out my warts as well as my beauty. I need someone to not only to praise the “beauty” but also to hold the “beast” accountable.
Remember what you think, influences your decisions and those decisions determine the outcomes. A friend will call into question your thinking…before they become bad decisions.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Thrill Is Gone -- NOT, 28 years Strong!
The Thrill Is Gone by BB King
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you'll be sorry someday
The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you'll be sorry someday
The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be
The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good
Someday I know I'll be over it all baby
Just like I know a man should
You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's over
All I can do is wish you well
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